The Joy of the Lord is My Strength

Discussions on grieving infant death & stillbirth; only the strength of the Lord makes it possible to tell the tale...

Thursday, April 16, 2009

sakura, originally uploaded by ajpscs.

sakura dreamscape

sakura dreamscape, originally uploaded by ajpscs.

In the midst of misery, God gives me flowers

early bloomers, originally uploaded by ajpscs.

when SPRING weeps

when SPRING weeps, originally uploaded by ajpscs.

I've been having a very hard time. There are no more rainbow babies for us, and I've had such a tremendously hard time trying to recover from all we've been through the last five years! My Anne will be 4 in a couple of weeks & I miss her more now than I ever did. No one in real life remembers either of my girls--don't they miss their nieces and granddaughters? apparently not

Anyway, I just needed to share in hopes that someone might understand even a little bit of what a nightmare it's been having to bury two babies back to back. I thought it was a terrible nightmare picking out a casket for Abigail, but no one seems to grasp the added horror of having to turn around & bury the next baby too. My poor body's been through hell & back, and yet so many act like it's no big deal. I just need someone--anyone--to acknowledge that one casket's too many, and two caskets are just way WAY more than a human should ever have to handle. I hurt to the depth of my very being--in every part of my body down deep into the epicenter of my soul :(((

Passion for Pink

ookanzakura, originally uploaded by ajpscs.

somei yoshino, originally uploaded by ajpscs.

resting in the blossoms

resting in the blossoms, originally uploaded by ajpscs.