when SPRING weeps

when SPRING weeps, originally uploaded by ajpscs.

I've been having a very hard time. There are no more rainbow babies for us, and I've had such a tremendously hard time trying to recover from all we've been through the last five years! My Anne will be 4 in a couple of weeks & I miss her more now than I ever did. No one in real life remembers either of my girls--don't they miss their nieces and granddaughters? apparently not

Anyway, I just needed to share in hopes that someone might understand even a little bit of what a nightmare it's been having to bury two babies back to back. I thought it was a terrible nightmare picking out a casket for Abigail, but no one seems to grasp the added horror of having to turn around & bury the next baby too. My poor body's been through hell & back, and yet so many act like it's no big deal. I just need someone--anyone--to acknowledge that one casket's too many, and two caskets are just way WAY more than a human should ever have to handle. I hurt to the depth of my very being--in every part of my body down deep into the epicenter of my soul :(((