The Joy of the Lord is My Strength

Discussions on grieving infant death & stillbirth; only the strength of the Lord makes it possible to tell the tale...

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Loving My Jealous God

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Yikes! What a terrible blogger I've been! Even now I don't know what to write about other than the illhealth that's kept me from having gumption to write.

I've been struggling with depression and finding the right meds. Nothing seems to help. Oprah would say that I just need to wish it away--that I attract the depression because I don't visualize it away. I suppose if I had cancer that I could just visualize that away as well? I suppose she'd say that my girls died because via the "law of attraction" I actually wished them dead. Please! I've grown quite weary of Oprah's ivory tower ideologies. It's been a little too long since she's known what "real life" really is. I suppose it's a lot easier to visualize your problems away when you're richer than God.

I tried her online class briefly. First, I trudged through the book that she's plugging. As a Bible scholar, I had to be alert to those new age philosophies that are contrary to Biblical thinking. It was hard since the author clearly isn't Messianic in any way, and what snippets of Jesus that he draws from are often badly misinterpreted. I heard that still-small voice inside me saying, "are you really sure you want to keep reading such drivel?" But I did my best to have an open mind. I didn't want to miss the author's greater message just because he fails to understand the Judeo-christian worldview or what the Bible teaches. I looked forward to what the class might teach in spite of the book's remarkably buddhist perspective.

So the first night of class, I attended with text and notepad ready. The Internet broadcast lasted about 10 minutes and then crashed from the overwhelming attendance. So I turned on Oprah & Friends on XM Radio to listen to the rest of the class. Well, not the rest of the class....

In reality, I packed up my bookbag & pad and walked out of class before the hour was done. A student had called in to ask a question about how Oprah could reconcile the dichotomy of thinking between the book's buddhist prevelence and its conflict with Messianic thinking. The long & explicit answer made me not want to continue with the class, and it made me very very sad for all those who would be led astray through the book/class experience.

You see, my God is a jealous God. He's jealous for His Bride. He wants her to make Him her priority. He doesn't want her tramping around with a bunch of other gods. He's jealous for His bride to be pure in thought, word and deed. God is jealous for my safety & protection. He doesn't want me straying off into the World's mud puddles. He's jealous for my heart to remain true to Him. His relationship with me is not an open relationship where I can pick & choose only the comfy, feel-good things about God's goodness & love.

God, in Hiss relationship with His people, expresses His love for us through His righteous jealousy. Jealousy is a very very important part of who my God is. He expresses Himself as a jealous God multitudes of times in the Old Testament. Abram was called out of Ur because of God's jealousy. God called Abram out of the pagan culture of Ur in order to establish Himself as Abram's exclusive Lord. He later reiterates His jealousy to Moses when He instructs that we are to have no other gods except Him.

God's love and jealousy are one. To say you believe in God's love, but don't believe that God's jealousy is right or good is a tremendous misunderstanding of just how deep God's love is for His people. How sad to claim only part of God's love and reject the rest. I want my God to be jealous for my heart. I want Him to be my one & only Love. I want His jealousy to keep me focused only on Him. I want His jealousy to rescue me & chasten me when my heart & mind wander--and they are so prone to wander; so so so prone to wander!

What Oprah doesn't understand is that I want the jealous part of God's love. I love that He's so jealous for me that He took my place on the Cross and defeated my eternal death. Try as he may, the devil will never ever be able to conquer me simply because God is too jealous to let the devil succeed in his seductions.

Never before in all my years of Biblical study has Messianic thinking been so imperative to my life. Their use of the word christ in their awakening terminology is troubling. Clearly, they don't understand that christ is the Greek word for messiah. It's not something that you achieve or bring about; it's not a "state of mind." When they use the word "christ" as an awakening process, they illustrate that they do not understand the Judaic principle of propitiation. And why should they since they don't believe in the sin nature of humanity.

Rather than believing in the original sin nature of humanity, they believe in the collective consciousness in terms of "ego" making a mess of things--that if we just master our individual egos then collectively we will be an awakened society, ever evolving toward buddahood. There is no heaven or hell apart from what we create here. God is created by man rather than vice versa. Their premiss is that if we awaken within ourselves then we can fix ourselves by recognizing our egos that get in the way. Ultimately, they see no need for a Messiah. Who needs a Messiah when there is no impenitrable sin from which we need rescuing? At best, such rose-colored egoic thinking is delusional.

Thus, for as "awakened" as they think of themselves, it's sad that they still aren't truly awakened to who God is--the God who spoke the world into existence; the God that Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, David, Solomon, Elijah, Isaiah, & Jesus loved, worshiped and made personal relationship with. I pray that over the course of their "spiritual examination" the Holy Spirit will impart Truth upon their hearts and lead them out from the mud puddles they play in.

Of course, I'm sure they see my Messianic worldview as part of the problem rather than the only solution that there really is. Father Abraham taught us when he left Ur (in order to pursue his exclusive & jealous relationship with the Lord God Almighty) that Jehovah Messiah is the only way. Moses also shared with us from his own personal relationship with Jehovah Messiah that "I AM" is a name reserved only for God. For the Awakening text & class to instruct that we too are also "I AM" is greatly troubling and world's apart from a Hebraic worldview.

As one of the multitudes of children who decend from Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, I personally & spiritually know a great and astonishing God--a God whose righteous jealousy is merely one of the amazing qualities that He uses to show His deep & never-ending Love for His people. Certainly, any religion or "spiritual awakening" that would have me become my own god doesn't understand just what a fool I would end up worshipping!

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