Spring Madness

NY Times article on perinatal hospice options
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/13/health/13hospice.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

I came across a situation that adds to my frustrations & angst in this whole early termination dilemma. A gal in my pregnancy & child birth circles came up with a poor prenatal diagnosis and chose an abortion over carrying to term. I had privately sent her several perinatal hospice options prior to her appointment, and I gave our time with Anne as a testimony of how worthwhile the carrying to term option can be. But she made her choice and bemoaned the loss of her child the same as if he'd been miscarried.

The problem that troubles me is that the drs botched her D&C, so now she's markedly upset--infection, scarring, potential for infertility and additional pregnancy loss have landed right in her lap. She had to go back in for another surgery & hospital stay. She blames the doctor.

And my first reaction is, "why'd you kill your baby in the first place?" You put yourself at risk. You put your future children at risk. You ended precious time that you could have had with your sweetie. You claim to miss your baby so much, grieving a mother's grief as if you'd had a natural & spontaneous stillbirth. And yet you know it didn't have to be this way. You had a different choice but you didn't want to chose that. You chose this and now you're mad. How do I support that? You call me the hard-hearted & callous one because I don't sympathize with your plight. Why did you do this to yourself expecting me to be supportive?

Like Michael Jackson, you cut your nose off to spite your face. The whole thing gives me a pit in my stomach. What sort of people have we become that such a thing is seen as the "better" option?