Words from the Weary

Just finished watching "Walk the Line." June died in May, 2003 and Johnny followed four months later---probably right about the time we found out about Abigail. Two thousand and three was quite a year, eh?

Followed up on our financial portfolio. Upped the life insurance and SEP investments. Please Lord let us do something right for a change. Went to Fuddrucker’s for dinner afterward. Costco didn’t have my rx’s ready, so we have to go back later in the week.

They had already closed the cemetery when we got there after dinner….Way earlier than they were supposed to, so I had to stand & watch through the gates as Brian watered. I think it’s time for an email to Brad---I found his email on the Internet tonight.

I’ve been very weepy since finishing up with the investment guy. Telling him the story about Abigail and Anne was just too much, and doing it with a straight demeanor was wicked hard. I’ve needed to sob ever since I got in the car, but no tears yet.

Wrote an email to Kim explaining a little bit of my ovu-frustrations. She sent me an ecard that was nice.

I begged off lunch with mom and Julia; just can’t handle it this week. I feel so fragile and on the brink of hysterical insanity. I’ve got to make some tea this weekend or something. I’m strung out on life; I need heroin to ease the pain---too bad I hate needles.

Father’s Day approaches and I have no ideas. Here’s a ticket for a week off planet, Honey.

I worked on Anne’s feet prints today; need a new ink cartridge, but the grey copy might actually look best in the piggie frame I got for her birthday. The blue set is the best, but the pink matches better. Her little feet were so sweet. It made me realize that Abigail really was a normal baby---compare their feet and they’re just not the same. One was normal and the other quiet a’skew. Poor little crippled girl with her stubby feet on her stubby legs with her crooked fingers. But good golly she was awesome. God certainly got the better deal when He made her. I’m so glad He showed me the special side of her; the exquisite side of who He made her to be.

Thank you Lord for sharing my girls with me. Please let Abigail know she was awesome too and how terribly sorry I am that I didn’t get to see that for myself until it was too late. Please hold them close for me; tell them about me. Please make these burning tears worth it; please make the choking lump in my throat worth the agony of giving them back. Please restore the joy of your salvation; please...