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I got chewed out on the MISS bereavement boards by the MISS CEO this afternoon. I'm much the wreck. I did get this small tidbit from one of their "Administrators"--little consolation considering how broken I am from life. Any other person in my skin would surely be contemplating thoughts of suicide with everything I've been through--especially about now. Thankfully, the Lord has seen me through and I'm hanging in there.

All I did was stand up for the Pink & Blue campaign. A new gal had posted about how great the new Oct15th thing is, and another MISS gal posted the offiicial MISS stance (which isn't very supportive of the Pink & Blue Campaign).

I had no idea that MISS takes such great issue with the phrase "pregnancy loss." Many of them, the CEO especially, are very emotionally vocal about their belief that such a phrase as "pregnancy loss" is not to be supported in any way shape or form.

I agree that the phrase "pgcy loss" undermines the very real child that is lost, especially in a "pgcy loss" that's grown enough to need burial, but is still not afforded any sort of legal personhood at birth because of its stillborn nature.
I know all too well the horrors of this political nightmare. No one's more vocally pro life and pro personhood than me.

But I tried to humbly and respectfully make the point that PAIL was progress that we could be proud of. The CEO didn't agree and told me off in no uncertain terms. And then came back in yet another post to YELL at me some more. I guess I touched a nerve. I thought I was sweetly articulate--I try my best to communicate gently and honorably.

Yes, in my efforts to seek grief support, I was officially & publically told off by the CEO of the MISS Foundation--how the hell is that supposed to fit into my overflowing grief repetoire???


(a PM from a MISS Administrator)

((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
I wear a ribbon pin on my ID badge at work along
with the MISS moms pin, precious feet and Always in our Hearts. I see us as
being on the same side. Your points are well made, and taken.

(and my response to her)
Thank you L for your encouragement. I tried my very best to articulate myself heartfully, gently and respectfully. I believe many of my points were valid. I did my very best to try to express myself from the pain of my own recent losses.
But in reading the posts that followed, I have to say that my fragile, tender spirit is very very broken. I've read and re-read the mssion statement of what the MISS Foundation is supposed to be about in their attempts to extend services to those in crisis grieving. I must say when you have the CEO come down and give you a verbal chewing out, the slap across the face leaves no small sting. My need for grieving support has certainly been overlooked in no small manner.

If you read my profile, you'll see that I've buried two baby corpses in the last two & half years of my life, I have zero support IRL. Additionally, the MISS legislation boasted of by the MISS CEO has had zero impact in the neighboring state of NM where I live. There isn't even a MISS chapter here, let alone any legislative progress in terms of research or legal personhood. To be barked at with some very obvious anger has left me terribly crumbled--excruciatingly broken. And the whole thing is about whether to support the pink & blue ribbon campaign or not. I had no idea that standing up for the Pink & Blue would illicit such disdain for the Cause.

My Abigail wasn't a legal person either--yet I spent three days in labor to push her lifeless body out into the world. The harsh words that were bolded as they were hurled back to me about my "niave ignorance" were words to the choir--I know all too well what it's like to lose a child that the world doesn't recognize as a human being. My daughter went to her grave never being afforded legal personhood. My own mother didn't even come to her birth or console me after her death. My own mother's attitude is that Abigail never breathed, I never "knew" her for real, and I should just "get over it."

I have never been more alone in all my life as I have in the last 15 months since my second baby girl went to Heaven!

I came to MISS looking for help. Looking for friends. Looking for some one, ANYONE to recognize that burying ONE is more than anyone should EVER have to endure. And yet I got to bury TWO. I can't tell you how today's discussion over October 15th support has taken my frail and broken self and made me feel like emotional ground beef.

I support October 15. I always will. I never said I wouldn't ALSO support MISS. I never said that MISS hadn't done a great deal of work in the legislative world of stillbirth. All I wanted to say was that we SHOULD BE ON THE SAME SIDE working TOGETHER to accomplish even more. Obviously, I was wrong